Fellowship focus 5 - August 1998
And finally...
I'm not what you would call a football fanatic, but during the days and weeks that led up to England being knocked out of the World Cup I displayed what any firstyear psychology student would describe as fanatical behaviour. Racing pulse, heated brow, shouting instructions to Hoddle from the comfort of an armchair, expecting him to listen, tutting when he didn't, praising when he did , planning loo and kitchen visits to coincide with half time, engaging a bemused husband in post and pre match discussions............It was all quite weird! Then came the night of the confrontation. Boundary Close was alive with shouting and cheering. Now Batty was to take the next shot. We inhaled together. He took the shot and then it was over, he'd missed.
Someone had pressed the close's mute button , it was silent for a long time. Then the grieving began and the knowledge that England were out of the World Cup raced like a hot knife through butter, into our minds. We were out! Finito! End of story!
That night I was tossing about thinking 1001 'if onlys'.
If only Campbell's goal had been allowed.
If only Beckham had behaved like a man..........
I drove to work the next morning feeling sad and totally exhausted. I stopped at the usual set of traffic lights. The builder in the white van next to me leaned across;
"Well sad weren't it"
"Yes," I mouthed back.
The traffic lights changed and we drove our separate ways, sharing the same grief.
England being knocked out of this years World Cup and the tragic death of Diana, Princess of Wales produced a phenomena the media termed 'national grief'. And whether you are someone who associates Campbell with meatballs and Diana with tabloid fodder, you must have sensed this 'national grief' ( you had to have been on another planet not to have!) - even if you didn't actually feel it.
So what was at the heart of all this grief? I think for most of us it was:
- the realisation that nobody can turn back the clock and
- that to find comfort in 'If onlys' is no real comfort at all.
These national events have caused me to humbly acknowledge that it is God not man who ultimately determines everything and as children of God we must find our greatest comfort from this truth.
Anita Beeden.